I did the right thing (i think) today.. i told her, "I'm sorry about what i told you last year, i didn't want to complicate your life. I'm sorry i was so bad to you when we were going out. I look at myself today and realize that i have a lot of regrets. If i could bring back the time - i would change it all; but i can't, so i want you to be happy. Even if that's not with me, i'm going to have to learn to accept that. Remember the good and bad times we had together, and try to think of it as a good experience. To be honest, i felt ill and weak when i saw you the other day and i'm going thru some hard times right now. I want you to know, that you'll have a secret place in my heart - and you can always come back when you need a friend to talk to."
I think this was the closure i really needed. I had my home boys to keep me company and cheer me up today. Thanks guys.
I went to Kareoke and sang my lungs out to a bunch of sappy songs. Drank some more.. and ate some good food at Sik Do Rak. I'm moving on.. i let it go today. She'll be better off w/o me. My songs of the month are:
1. Cold by Lee Gi Chan
Lyrics:
Can't I love you? I can't do anything about my feelings towards you.
Because of you, i cried and smiled - yet i was still happy.
Will one year be enough? Will you come back to me?
Why didn't you even tell me to wait.
I was so sick that i couldn't breath, nor talk, please understand.
I'll do it.. i'll try to forget. I'll erase.. i'll try to erase.
Why can't i do it, even when i try to forget?
It feels like you will come back to me if i wait.
Will one year be enough? Will you come back to me?
Why didn't you even tell me to wait.
I was so sick taht i couldnt' breath, nor talk, please understand.
If time goes by, it has to be me.
Just one day has to be it.
I was so sick.. so hard to breath that i couldn't talk, please understand.
Until the day - i will love you.
**
I'm sure i could have chosen better words to translate the song, but i'm too lazy. Hard to explain what the lyrics mean in english.. but it makes a lot of sense in Korean and how i feel right now.
2. Handshake by Bi
Lyrics:
The word to split up, the word to stop seeing eachother
How can you say them with such comforting face and tone?
How can it be so easy? Is splitting up nothing to you?
How can you smile?
Is the word, "It was fun" all you can say?
It was love for me..
It may have been a good time for you
But it was love to me
Love that i felt for the first time.
After meeting you, i felt happiness for the first time.
But you and your excuses are trying to leave me.
Do you always meet and split up?
Is the time we spent together, just another good time for you?
It was love for me..
It may have been a good time for you
But it was love to me
Love that i felt for the first time.
This hand that i'm holding for this handshake i am looking at
If i make this handshake, you will turn around and what am i supposed to do?
It was love for me..
It may have been a good time for you
But it was love to me
Love that i felt for the first time.
Love that i felt for the last time.
***
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