Scared to Change?

Adventure..
Security..

Fear..
Courage..

Commitment..
Determination..

Out of those 3 sets of words which would you pick?  I've been thinking about how i feel about my current position in life and how I have been scared to change.  I realize that i am the type of person that enjoys commitment and having security over adventures.  This all came about when i was deciding to quit my day job.

Most ppl will agree with me that you've thought about the following questions:

1. Do i enjoy my job?
2. Does my job make me happy, and if no, is there something else out there?
3. What if i can't find a new job?

To be honest, this recent decision to resign from my job wasn't as easy as i portray.  I do have my fears about finding a new job and having to move back to California.  I would have to make sacrifices that i wouldn't have had to if i just stayed in my current position.  I wouldn't have minded staying if i was able to get a transfer to Cali -  but that never happened.

The behind story about the scenario is that before i moved to NY, there was a few promises made to me.  First, there would be new hires that i would need to train in the NY office.  Second, after a few years and things settle down, i had the option to move back to Cali.  And lastly, i would be paid $2k for moving expenses.  Well, it's been 2 years, and neither of those promises panned out - so i ultimately resigned with a bitter taste in my mouth.


In the end, there was one question i really had to ask myself.

Happiness?  Security?

Having a stable job with flexible income is nice.  But lately, i have been miserable living in NY.  Since getting xfered wasnt' an option, i had to choose.  Do I choose to be happy at the expense of not knowing the outcomes of the near future?  Or do i just stay miserable and choose security at my current desk job?

What was the bubble breaker?  It's the fact that life is too short.  I had a dream about being 50 years old, miserable, in the same job and lonely.  But hey!, i had a lot of money.... then i woke up.  I'm almost 30 now.. i started Bjunkyard back in 1996 in good old Geocities!  It's been over 14 years and time has surely flown by.

It probably wont' be easy in the current market conditions to find a well paying job, yet i'd rather take that chance than waste more of my time being lonely here in NY.

2 more weeks.  I got my plane tickets from Virgin America for $129.  My last day here will be 3/30.  I should start packing/selling stuff.