Been browsing around other ppl's xanga's, blogs, and galleries.. and geez.. they took a damn lot of photos and have a crap load of friends from College. I realized that in my life - i never made many friends in College.
[wait.. scratch that]
I did make many friends.. but never many any close friends i'd go out to have lunch with. It's actually been this way since High School.. i usually went to school to get my work done and for that piece of paper that comes at the end of your long journey. Was never there for the extra-activities like clubs.. dances.. etc.
College graduation - i didn't even walk.. probably cuz of my experience from HS ceremony where it was pretty bland. My family came.. got my diploma.. and while every other kid was taking pics and having fun with their buddies taking pics - i slipped out and went to dinner with my family. I never regretted any of that back then.. but i sorta do now after looking at other ppl's pics. I never got to enjoy my younger life.
I wonder why that is.. i think it's cuz i'm lazy and try to avoid drama and occurrences as much as possible. I like being safe. Guess that's what it was. During high school i kept changing my set of friends. It's funny.. never hung out with one set of friends.
Freshman year - i hung out with ppl from jr. high school. It was actually a mixed crowd.
Sophomore year - i hung out with white/black.. probably cuz i was in the football team. Then i learned to drive and started hanging with an Asian crowd.
Jr. Year - lost in touch with many ppl i started working.
Sr. Year - Hang out so so with scattered ppl that i don't keep in contact with now.
Guess my life is more complicated than it seems - but it was different for me growing up to keep one group of friends close at times. Or was it just me.. i dunno.
I do remember some ppl trying to vote me out of a group cuz they thought i was stupid. But they didn't realize it wasn't that i was stupid, but just lazy to do the homework and try during school. Now that i think about it - i can't remember a day when i actually went home and did my homework. I would usually do it 30 minutes b4 school.. and still got by high school with a B average. I'm no genius.. but i wonder what my life would be if i actually tried.
Now that school has been over for a year.. life passes by pretty damn fast. I think 2005 passed by really fast particularly because of Sunny. Not going to school seems to be making me dummer too. I can feel myself deteriorating and dying. yet, i'm still the same lazy person from HS.. i'm actually lazy as i write this. but moving my fingers doesn't take that much enegery soo....
If you ever loose your memory and read this.. remember that your a lazy man.
My knit of friends.. it's been the same now for about 3 years. Pae, Yong, Simon, Jerome, James, Eric.. not as close as 2002 during my bday ( i still got that pic on my desk ).. but we kick it once in a while still. All busy with work.. haven't done anything in a while.
Life goes on.. I really wonder what i will be doing in 5 years. When i'm 30.. what will i be doing? I look at other ppl's xanga and envy their busy lives and things they get to do.. like Yonsei and trips to Europe.. but after writing this i realized that i could have done the same thing.. just didn't cuz i'm lazy as fuck. I'd rather just live life as it comes in a small box like now. Blog about it and how i wish i could take trips to Europe and stuff.. and know it's probably never gonna happen cuz i'm not motivated to plan it out.
Maybe when i'm 30.. since i don't know what 5 years will do to me. As far as 2006 is concerned.. i plan on doing a few changes. A few changes..
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