Been feelig kinda lost these days.. not sure where im going exactly in life. I also feel a little depressed.. maybe it's the sudden change in weather.
I also realized that I have a trait that is really bad. The Bible even says it's bad. I have a "jealousy" problem. Actually it's not that big of a problem.. im thinking in terms of relationships. Maybe a better word is "insecurity".. now why the heck would I have insecurity.. ooh.. maybe i was traumatized and don't even realize it.
I dunno.. because of insecurity, trust becomes an issue. All of this because i don't want to be hurt in the end. Am i being a total pussy? Shoot.. maybeso. I think i wrote about this before.. so i know i have a problem. How do i fix it? Bleh. You know when you have insecurity sometimes you figure it's better to end it before you get hurt. Or you don't want to feel insecure anymore so you want to force yourself to give up everything.. shit shit shit. Well that's how i have been feeling lately.. and it sucks.
On a good note, Apt #1 of the 4plex was rented out.. they will sign the lease paper on friday. I have also started working out regularly.. it takes about 45 minutes to do my whole routine. I jog for 20 minutes.. and do weights for another 25 minutes. It's nothing heavy.. eventually i'll get more into it. Now all i have to do is work on my eating habits. The plan is to loose all this excess fat by Summer and being able to fit into clothes!
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